WHY ME, GOD?

I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us… And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. Romans 8:18, 28

I have Crohn’s Disease. It is a chronic (incurable) autoimmune disease, which causes inflammation in the digestive tract. When I was diagnosed in 2016, I was just happy to have answers. For the previous 12 months I had been in a lot of pain. Sometimes I would not eat because it caused so much pain. When I did eat, my body was not able to absorb the nutrients, so I lost a lot of weight. Usually, I loved to play in the backyard with my sisters, but I no longer had any energy to do so. My family and the doctors were not sure what to do. “Why me, God?” I would ask. So when the diagnosis came, I was just relieved. They put me on steroids and I felt amazing! That summer I gained approximately 30 pounds. However, I could not stay on steroids forever. Eventually, my doctor put me on another medication, but it was not as strong and I began experiencing symptoms again. “Why, God? Why can’t You just fix this?” I was angry at God for allowing me to go through all this. I even tried to bargain with Him, and I felt guilty that my family had to bear the emotional and financial burdens from this trial. It all came to a climax when I ended up in the hospital on Christmas Eve. “Why me, God? Why me?” I just could not understand. Thankfully, my doctor found another medicine that worked better for me and I began to make progress. Today, I am in remission, which means that I have no symptoms. I still do not know why God allowed this to happen to me, but I have learned to trust Him. He is able to bring good out of this and I am confident that He will. I was able to grow through this experience and I trust that God will be with me through whatever may come next.

By: Katherine Ashlock ('21)

Charlotte, North Carolina