A FIXED HEART

When I am afraid, I put my trust in You. Psalm 56:3

I was born with ventricular septal defect (VSD). I basically had a hole between my two ventricular chambers. The orphanage that I was taken to as a baby paid for me to get it fixed a year after I came to them. When I first came to the United States with my new adoptive family, they showed my medical records to my pediatrician, at the time, and wondered if I would ever have trouble with growth or cardio activities. My doctor said that I should grow up as a healthy child with no problems but that I should eat healthy and take care of myself. Every year, as soon as I was old enough to understand what had happened, I always wondered if I would die because of the hole in my heart, even though it had been fixed. It was a silly fear now that I think back on it. Every time I went to the doctor, they would check my heart for anything out of the ordinary and to make sure that it was beating correctly. It was always a relief to hear that my heart was fine and that I would be able to live a normal life. The only reminder that I even have of the problem is a scar in the middle of my chest. Now a teenager, I have come to terms that I will always live with a fixed hole in my heart. I am not scared of what could happen in the future and I know that I can always trust God. I always thought that I had to be in charge of my own life and worry about what would happen to me, but I realize now that I just needed to come to peace with it and give it to God because He will take care of it. He is never going to let you down or do something that will harm you. Though He might let some things happen, He allows those things for a purpose. He let me have a hole in my heart so that later, after it was fixed, I could learn that I should not worry about my heart and to let God take care of it.

By: Grace Russell ('23)

Charlotte, North Carolina